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You Are Not Crazy
You’re exhausted from over-functioning, always managing the chaos just to make it seem okay. You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you.
Your friends don’t get it. You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you're the problem. You're not.
I understand—because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, gaslit into silence, and walking on eggshells every day.
This podcast is here to help you feel seen. To help you make sense of the confusion. To show you that you're not crazy—and you're not alone.
Whether you’re navigating narcissistic abuse, trauma bonding, or post-separation control, you’ll find clarity, validation, and language for what’s actually happening.
This is your space to reclaim your truth and begin healing—on your terms.
🖤 Learn more and find resources at www.emotionalabusecoach.com
Episodes
218 episodes
You’re Not Crazy—You’re Trauma Bonded
Trauma bonds aren’t about shared hardship or difficult experiences. They’re cycles of abuse and relief that hook your brain and body like an addiction. That’s why it feels impossible to just “get over it.”In this episode, I break down wh...
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Episode 219
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17:51
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False Accountability and the Control Behind It
Control in an abusive relationship often hides behind the illusion of change. They might say the words you’ve been waiting to hear—"I know I hurt you," "I’m working on myself"—but without real accountability, it’s not growth. ...
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Episode 218
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18:29
You Can’t Talk to Your Lawyer Like They’re Your Friend
Family court is a system that doesn’t run on empathy — and that can be one of the hardest realities for survivors to face. In this episode, I share the lessons I’ve learned about communicating with attorneys while navigating years of custody ba...
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Episode 217
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19:28
What I Learned from Loving a Narcissist (Even Though It Nearly Broke Me)
When you’re trauma bonded, wanting them isn’t about love—it’s about relief. The relief of the fight being over. The relief of feeling seen again, even for a moment. In this episode, I break down why your body can know they’re toxic and still lo...
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Episode 216
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17:30
High-Conflict Divorce and Co-Parenting
This episode takes a deep dive into the realities of co-parenting and divorcing a high-conflict person. I answer some of the most common questions I hear from survivors—like how to handle manipulation of your child, what to do when the other pa...
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Episode 215
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32:07
Inside the Trauma Bond: Why I Couldn’t Leave (and How I Finally Did)
I’m sharing the truth about a trauma bond I was in—how it formed, why I stayed, and what it took to finally break free. This isn’t a highlight reel or a neatly packaged story. It’s the messy reality of living in a cycle of harm and hope, of bei...
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Episode 214
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40:56
Craving Relief: Why Trauma Bonds Feel Impossible to Break
When you’re trauma bonded, wanting them isn’t about love—it’s about relief. The relief of the fight being over. The relief of feeling seen again, even for a moment. In this episode, I break down why your body can know they’re toxic and still lo...
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Episode 213
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22:02
How to Work With Me: Coaching, Courses, and What’s Ahead
This episode is a little different. Instead of diving into a specific topic, I’m sharing updates, announcements, and all the ways you can work with me.If you’re new here—or wondering what I offer beyond the podcast—you’ll hear about:...
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Episode 212
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18:15
The Cycle of Sexual Coercion
Sexual coercion is one of the most misunderstood and silenced forms of abuse. It’s not seduction. It’s not miscommunication. It’s pressure, guilt, manipulation, and punishment used to get sex when you’ve already said no, shown hesitation, or fe...
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Episode 211
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9:15
The “Nice” Version Isn’t Proof They’ve Changed
They’re kind again… so does that mean they’ve changed? In this episode, we unpack why the “nice” version is part of the abuse cycle — and how to tell the difference between real change and a calculated reset.One of the most confusing par...
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Episode 210
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15:09
From Love Bombing to Losing Myself — and Finding My Way Back
In this raw and validating conversation, fitness expert and former pro athlete Holly Rilinger shares her first public telling of the emotional abuse she endured inside a long-term relationship that looked perfect on the outside.
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Episode 209
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57:11
Am I Overreacting?
Most survivors don’t start by asking “Is this abuse?” They ask “Why do I feel crazy?”This episode dives deep into the emotional confusion that defines so many abusive dynamics—especially when gaslighting, blame-shifting...
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Episode 208
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12:44
When It Was Never About Change: Understanding the Psychology Behind Cluster B Abuse
Dr. Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the most confusing and painful parts of surviving a relationship with someone who has Cluster B traits, including narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personality disorders.We explore:...
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Episode 207
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57:53
Breaking the Trauma Bond
I’m sharing one of the most requested and emotionally charged topics: the trauma bond. This episode is part of my private podcast series Unhooked: Mapping the Cycle of Abuse, and I felt it was important to bring it here too—for anyone ...
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Episode 206
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13:45
Healing a Trauma Bond: The Power You Still Have
Trauma Bonding—a term that’s often misunderstood and sometimes avoided because naming it means facing the abuse beneath it. In this episode, I break down what a trauma bond is (and isn’t), why it’s more than “shared trauma,” and how it f...
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Episode 205
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17:51
Whose Shame Are You Carrying? How Abusers Offload Pain to Avoid Accountability
This episode explores one of the most insidious aspects of emotional abuse: shame offloading. When someone can’t face their own emotional wounds—whether it’s failure, inadequacy, or internal contradictions—they often project that pa...
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Episode 204
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26:38
Why Abusers Believe Their Own Lies with Paul Colaianni
Why do emotionally abusive people double down on false narratives, deny reality, and convince themselves they’re the victim—even when they’re causing visible harm?I'm joined by Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain and <...
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Episode 203
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1:11:54
When You’re Not Allowed to Be Human: A Journal Entry from Inside the Cycle of Abuse
This episode takes you inside the lived experience of emotional abuse. The story captures how emotional dysregulation, boundary violations, and false repair cycles can slowly erode a person’s sense of self.We discuss how the classic cycl...
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Episode 202
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20:09
The Abuse That Didn’t Look Like Abuse
There’s a version of abuse that presents as calm and reasonable. It doesn’t look chaotic, and at first, it doesn’t even feel that way. It feels quiet and measured. It sounds like someone who wants to work through things. Someone who seems thoug...
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Episode 201
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11:17
The Manipulation I Didn’t See—Until I Did
In this episode, I share the story that shaped everything: how I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship, how I stayed, and how I finally saw it for what it was.This is the manipulation I didn’t see—until I did.I talk abou...
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Episode 200
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22:43
Mapping Your Specific Cycle of Abuse
If you’ve ever felt like you were stuck in a relationship that kept repeating the same painful patterns—no matter how much you tried to fix it—this episode is for you.In this episode, learn how the cycle of abuse plays out in emotionally...
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Episode 199
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35:30
Can a Narcissist Actually Change?
This is one of the most common—and most heartbreaking—questions I hear: Can a narcissist change? In this episode of You Are Not Crazy, I’m walking you through the reality behind that question.The short answer? Maybe—but...
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Episode 198
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13:31
Why It Hurts So Much (Even After Everything)
When you're breaking a trauma bond or coming to terms with the end of a manipulative relationship, it doesn’t just bruise you—it shatters something inside. This kind of grief defies logic. You’re not just mourning a relationship. You’re grievin...
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Episode 197
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8:09
Why They Couldn’t Love You: Understanding Emotional Capacity in Toxic Relationships
What happens when the person you fought so hard to love turns out to be incapable of loving you back? What do you do with the grief, the self-doubt, and the tidal wave of confusion that follows?In this raw and deeply personal episode, I ...
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Episode 196
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18:18